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The Mean Hen

What do you do about a mean hen? Do you tolerate her and let the other girls be bullied, or do you take action?

You will often hear about mean hens and what to do about them. Isolation, rehoming and even culling are recommendations. But, I wouldn’t do any of those things to a pet. There are other options.

I have a mean hen, and her name is Puffin. The day I brought her home from the post office, she pecked me. She was two days old and I was taking her out of the shipping crate and she pecked me. I was smitten. Puffin got her name because of her puffy cheeks and her eye markings. At first she looked more like an owl to me, but then she became a puffin. She was easily identifiable from the other chipmunk chicks because her face was twice as wide, which made it easy to attach to her. She pecked me several times as a tiny chick, and it was just her thing. I laughed every time.

See those puffy cheeks! So cute!

I had ten chicks because that’s how they were shipped from the hatchery, but I couldn’t keep them all in my small yard. I knew that I would have to rehome some of them. From the start I didn’t want to get attached to all the chicks to the same degree, because I would have to say goodbye to some and I am terrible at that. I seriously considered giving away Puffin, because I knew she would likely become a mean hen and peck the rest of the girls, if she didn’t turn out to be a cockerel. On the other hand, could I give someone a chick that I thought would be a bully to their flock? What would they do about her? Also, I think Puffin is my prettiest hen, even though nobody agrees with me and everyone has their favorite. That, and how much I love when she pecks me or tells me what’s what were reasons I decided she will be mine forever.

She did grow up to be a bully. She’s not the only poulet that I’ve seen pull out other poulet’s feathers, but she was the queen of plucking. She would grab a beakful of neck feathers and hold on. The feathers came out when the owner pulled away. When she did this I would scold her, and give her a timeout in a travel crate. Twice, she had to spend a night alone in the old coop.

I’m pretty sure that Puffin is my smartest hen, as well as my feistiest (and prettiest). And sometimes when there is a dispute the fault is mine. My chickens are great communicators, but I can be pretty slow at understanding. The first peck was obvious. “Put me down, you strange monster!” Other pecks were for the same reason, when she was a chick. We are not strangers now, and I can pet her and pick her up and she doesn’t peck me. But when she was tiny it was her way of communicating with me that she didn’t like what was happening. I love her for being so outspoken. So, why is my smartest hen picking on other hens, and in particular one hen? It’s because Speck is a jerk. With kids, there are always two involved in any spat. One may seem more culpable because they resort to violence first, but often the other one is the instigator.

Speck is obnoxious. She was the one hen I was sure I would get rid of, and not miss. I should have sent her away (up the block to my neighbor) but at the last minute I decided she was too attached to me. She went from whistling constantly as a chick, really non-stop, irritating whistling, to being the first to jump on my lap or shoulder and beg for attention whenever I went out to be with the girls. She’s also my mother’s favorite as the only one that will also jump on her lap. She stopped the whistling. But she is like a teacher’s pet, always pushing everyone else out of the way, stealing food and running away with it. She has no respect for the pecking order. In other words, she lacks social skills.

So, I had a long couple of talks with Puff-Puff. I explained to her that I believe her and that I totally agree. Speck is unbearable. But, Puffin won’t grab onto neck feathers any more. It’s not acceptable, and will result in a timeout and missing snacks. It took a few explanations and reminders when it seemed like she was ready to go on the attack, but praising her for a simple peck in Speck’s direction, and picking her up and giving her timeouts when she instead tried to grab feathers, was only half the solution. The other half was to make sure that Speck was not given any special treatment for her attention-seeking behavior. I gently push her away when she tries to get most of a treat, before the other hens. She is not one of my smartest hens and her training is ongoing.

Puffin is feisty. She pecks me now to tell me something is wrong, like the water dish needs washing or that it’s past snack time and there have been not enough snacks. They have always been gentle pecks, and I still adore them. I make sure that she knows that I love her. I also love Speck, but she is still annoying sometimes. It just took me looking at her the way another chicken would to understand the dynamic. What I find the most interesting is that these personalities were set in stone before I got these tiny chicks out of the shipping crate. But, luckily, their behaviors are not set forever. They just need the love and understanding given to a child and gently nudging in the right direction to be happy flockmates.

Why Choose a Chicken Pet?

Chickens are pets? I thought they were livestock, or they were when I was a kid. I lived on a small family farm for my early years and remember gathering the eggs and feeding the hens, but never got attached to them.

Certainly I never knew they had personalities or could bond with humans and be taught like other pets.

Some years ago, I got the hint that my job was going away, outsourced and gone forever, but it took the company a year to actually do it. I could have found another job and lost my severance pay, or waited to be let go and compete with my coworkers to find a new job. It was a stressful situation, and I decided that in the best interest of my blood pressure, I needed to get a pet. So, I had to decide what pet would be best for me. I didn’t want a cat again, because I had gone a decade or so without a litter box in the house and I didn’t intend to go back. I’m not really a dog person, and I didn’t want to be awakened early for “walksies”. I used to enjoy keeping fish, but now I prefer to let them swim free. Some of my coworkers had chickens as egg producers, but one of them told me chickens make great pets. The more I researched, the more I learned about chickens , the more I became excited about owning some.

A cat has never made me breakfast. Oh sure, they try, but mouse is not on the menu for me. Mauled songbird is also unappetizing and makes me sad. On the other hand, eggs laid by my own hens with a diet controlled by me, are more delicious and nutritious than what I could get at a store without paying a premium price. They are fresher and the whites haven’t broken down and the yolks are firm and orange and rarely break while cooking.

A dog has never helped with the weeding. They like to dig holes but not where I want them, and usually plants get damaged. Chickens are great at weeding. They scratch around my roses and other bushes keeping weeds from sprouting and they trim the grass, or destroy it entirely. I have to control where they go, of course, since they don’t always listen to me when I give instructions. But chicken wire around a few areas protects plants long enough for them to be able to survive the chicken assault. As a bonus, the hens eat pests and spiders so that I don’t need to use pesticides in my garden. I keep my vegetables in raised beds with chicken wire around them, and gardening is much easier.

Rabbits are terrible watch animals. They never tell you when something is going on in the yard or in the neighborhood. My hens always know. Several times they have told me that the neighbors are doing roofing, once that there was a turkey on my roof, and once a goose. I never would have gotten that photo without their calling me outside. They let me know when suspicious cats are in the yard. They have cats they tolerate and cats they don’t. They let me know which are the bad ones. They alert me to salespeople and deliveries, which is nice since I don’t like it when the delivery folks leave packages and don’t ring the bell or knock. No more melted ice cream or rained-on boxes is great.

Dogs and cats can’t fertilize my vineyard. In fact, cat feces is toxic to people (causing birth defects) and both harm plants. Chicken fertilizer is some of the best around and the hens work it into the soil without even being told to do it. As a result, my vineyard is an amazing producer of grapes year after year, as long as I water it.

But, can a chicken provide the comfort of the furry animals mentioned above? Hens aren’t much into being held or petted, with few exceptions. The feathers get ruffled. But they can sit on my lap and talk to me. They run to me nearly every time I open the door or return home. (Not in the middle of a bath, though. They have limits.) They tell me everything that is going on. Sometimes, I am too stupid to understand, but figure it out later. Once it was that the wind blew a door closed. Most of the time they let me know they need something. They have been trying to teach me to understand them, and I can tell when they are getting frustrated with me. They are very smart. I think they might want to take the house back from me.

I get so much enjoyment from watching my hens be themselves, and interacting with them, and I don’t regret my decision to buy chickens instead of any other pet. I think they are the perfect choice for me. Other people may have different needs, but I needed chickens. They are the first thing I think of in the morning, and the reason I get out of bed. They would never let me sleep in while they were cooped up, anyway.